Days of our Lives spoilers for Thursday, January 9, prove that “share and share alike” isn’t a viable strategy when you’re Kiriakis half-brothers.

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A judge decided that Xander (Paul Telfer) and Philip (John-Paul Lavoisier) should be co-CEOs on Titan (mostly because Vivian [Louise Sorel] forged a codicil claiming that’s what Victor [John Aniston] wanted).

With the holidays over, it’s time to report to the office. It doesn’t go well. The last time, Xander actually drew a pistol and fired—only to learn that Philip had gotten rid of the bullets. If that’s where they started, where could they possibly end?

Good Samaritan

Sophia’s (Madelyn Kientz) mom has mandated that her daughter marry Tate (Leo Howard), and they will raise their baby together without discussion. To be fair to Sophia, that isn’t what she wants, either. She wanted to get an abortion and not disrupt her plans to go to college, then medical school, then world domination.

So she apologizes to Tate for being sucked into this. Though, again, to be fair to Sophia, Tate is as much to blame here as she is. Of course, Holly (Ashley Puzemis) begs to differ. She is the biggest victim here. And if Sophia and Tate don’t realize that, maybe Doug III (Peyton Meyer) will. What’s that, you say? Doug has problems of his own. Boy, poor Holly really can’t catch a break, can she?

Role Model Fail

There is no question that Rachel (Finley Rose Slater) is the Queen of All Brats. Kristen (Stacey Haiduk) blames Brady (Eric Martsolf) for not giving their precious darling what she wants most in the world—which is Mommy and Daddy back together.

Brady blames Kristen for encouraging Rachel to think this is an appropriate strategy. So they go to war. Again. This is very, very good for Rachel. But maybe she’s too busy texting threats to Ava (Tamara Braun) to notice.