Kody Brown Still Feuding with Kids After Garrison’s Death as His Son Haunts Him from the Grave!

Kody Brown remains locked in conflict with his children following the tragic death of his son Garrison Brown, who continues to cast a

haunting shadow over his life.

Sister Wives star Kody Brown is grappling with the profound shock and grief following the sudden death of his son Garrison Brown. The Sister Wives star’s 25-year-old son was found deceased in an apparent suicide on March 5, leaving Kody struggling to come to terms with the loss.

Kody, 55, opened up about the overwhelming sense of disbelief he still feels. “The hard part is giving away that future that I saw for him, the excitement,” Kody shared in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE.

“It’s strange having your child pass. The wave of grief is different than any wave of grief I have ever had with a best friend passing, with a relative passing. It’s different. And it is different in the idea that it’s irreconcilable — the future that we missed with him.”

Reflecting on his relationship with Garrison, Kody admitted there were aspects that “certainly could have been better” before his son’s death.

“We could have been talking more. I’d get texts, stuff like that, and we could have, retrospectively, we could have done so much more,” he said. “And it was almost like — I’m busy with my life, he’s busy with his life, and when we connect, we’ll connect.”

Kody expressed regret over the missed opportunities for connection, saying:

“It was kind of like, we’ve got forever. It was more like it was a convenience of time that I felt like I had.” He added, “Retrospectively, there would’ve been more of a regular catching up and touching base.”

Garrison’s death has had a profound impact on Kody, altering his life “irrevocably.” He admitted, “I can’t get back to where I was. I can’t reconcile that he’s not here.”

The reality star remembered Garrison as someone with a bright future and a love for adventure.

“You do have a little bit of an expectation — and especially with somebody who’s got essentially a bright future. He was planning a future. He always wanted a story to tell, some adventure. He was always either cracking a joke or wanting to talk about an adventure,” Kody recalled.

Kody’s “only regret” now is wishing he had spent more time with his son.

“I want to go out to dinner again. I want to sit down. I want to have a beer. I want him to try and make me laugh because he was kind of that way,” Kody said. “The only regret is just, gosh, I would just do that more often. The only regret is that you didn’t do something. You didn’t take more time.”