Days of our Lives spoilers for Wednesday, September 11, suggest Connie is getting crazier and crazier (which is surprising in and of itself).

Now, she’s annoyed not only by her prisoner, Melinda, for being cranky but also by her boss, Gabi, for being… happy.

Rescue Me

Melinda (Tina Huang) has been tied up at Connie’s (Julie Dove) for…how long now? We’re not really sure how time passes in Salem. (And

we’re really not sure how Melinda is taking care of her…personal needs…while handcuffed to a bed. But, regarding that, we’re not asking too many questions.)

Still, she hasn’t given up hope. She figures someone will notice she hasn’t been around and will go looking for her. After all, it’s not like nobody cares about her? What if the worst thing to come out of Melinda’s kidnapping is that she realizes she’s not important enough for anyone to miss?

Best Laid Plans

Connie figures she’s got Melinda right where she wants her. Her bigger problem now is Gabi (Cherie Jimenez — here’s what you need to know). Connie deliberately told Gabi about Stefan (Brandon Barash) sleeping with Ava (Tamara Braun) to throw her life into turmoil. It worked.

Gabi was in turmoil. So, she slept with EJ. And Stefan found out. And got angry. This made Gabi happy. Connie doesn’t like it. Connie doesn’t understand it. And when Connie doesn’t like and understand something, Connie does something about it. It is never something good.

Faith, Hope, and Pixie Dust

We know that Fauxbigail (AnnaLynne McCord) isn’t really Chad’s (Billy Flynn) dead wife. But Chad doesn’t know that. He thinks that with just the right nudge, words, and setting, Fauxbigail will remember their life together, their kids together, and, most importantly, how much she loved him. So he keeps pushing. And Fauxbigail keeps lying. One of them will have to cry, uncle, ev